S.5 #10 | What's in a name?

Did you know that names have the power to shape a person's destiny? Names are said to be keys to the soul. As you will learn from this episode, names can even be self-fulfilling prophecies. So choose your children's names wisely! And see what you can find out about yourself and your family history through your own name.

Transcript

 What’s in a name?

As a little girl, I remember already talking to my friends about how I would name my future kids. When I became an adult, but before finding myself in Judaism, I had a whole list of names that I really liked and hoped to one day name my kids. Looking back at those names now, I realize that they were in no way meaningful, I simply liked them for the way they sounded in English and in Russian. Even though I was not very connected to my Jewish roots, I was still proud of my Russian heritage and I had planned to raise my kids speaking the language and being able to communicate with their grandparents whose English, to this day, is not perfect. But! When I married my husband, who is also Russian and Jewish, and when I became pregnant, my choice of names changed dramatically. At this point, little by little I was starting to connect to my Jewish values and traditions, and so when it came to choosing a name for my firstborn, my husband and I knew that we must name our child after a deceased grandparent. This is a sort of common knowledge amongst Ashkenazi Jews that is passed down from generation to generation. Technically, it is customary to name the baby after any deceased relative, but in our case it was a no-brainer to name my son after one, or even two grandparents, by using at least the first letter of the grandparents’ name. Interestingly enough, my grandpa’s name, on my mom’s side, was Israel and my husband’s grandpa was Ilia, so the letter I was for sure going to be the first letter of our son’s name and by doing this we would honor our grandparents. From there we looked at some options, there weren’t many that we liked, but one day my stepdaughter mentioned the name Isaac and we really liked not only the sound of that name, but also that it could be easily translated or pronounced in Russian - we wanted to be considerate of our parents and avoid difficult letter combinations such as “th” because they could in no way pronounce this letter combination. This sound, along with a few others, does not exist in Russian and we didn’t want our parents butchering the name of our child or for our parents to feel like they’re saying a tongue twister. And so Isaac was born, and we were, and are, very happy with the name, but the story doesn’t end here! Little did I know, names are much more significant and powerful than we often think. Choosing a name for your child is almost like a little self-fulfilling prophecy and here is why!

First of all, let me explain it from the Biblical point of view. There is a Hebrew folk saying, recorded in the Bible, that a person’s name can manifest his or her character. In translation, the saying says: “Like his name, so is he”. In other words, the name given a child is considered to be a matter of great importance, having considerable influence on the development of that child’s character. 

Let’s take a look at some of the Jewish traditions in more detail. Among Ashkenazi Jews (Jews of Central and Eastern European origin) — the custom is to name the child after someone, usually a family member, who has recently died. To a certain extent, too, it is believed that the soul of the loved one lives on in the child who now bears his or her name. And actually, learning about the persons for whom they are named is an excellent way for children to identify with the history of their own Jewish families and, by extension, with the history of the whole Jewish people. Now that my son is a little older, 7, I like to show him photos of his great-grandparents after which he is named. By doing this, I am able to interest him in his ancestry and start a conversation about the importance of continuing traditions. 

Now, Sephardic Jews (those of Iberian or Middle-Eastern origin) usually name their children after a grandparent, either living or dead, and many Sephardic grandparents look forward to being honored with grandchildren who bear their own names while they are still alive. Sephardim are also much more scrupulous about naming a boy after a man and a girl after a woman than are most Ashkenazim. In Sephardic families this procedure often has the effect of strengthening transgenerational ties between grandfathers and grandsons, and between grandmothers and granddaughters. Some parents also choose to modernize or americanize Biblical or Hebrew names, such as in the example of Sarah to Samantha. We actually did just that with my daughter. We named her after my grandmother Roza, but instead of keeping it just Roza, we made it into Rosalie. 

Frequently, Jewish parents give their child both a Hebrew name and a secular name for use in general society. Sephardim often choose a non-Jewish name whose meaning approximates that of the Hebrew name. So, for example, a boy might be called Rahamim, meaning “compassion”, and Clement, based on the Latin clementa, and meaning virtually the same thing. Among East European Jews, the Hebrew name would be accompanied by a Yiddish one, again often with a similar meaning. The name Dov, meaning “bear”, might be followed by the Yiddish name Ber. Hence, a man would be known as Dov-Ber, both formally and even in ordinary conversation.

Some parents choose a name that sounds like the name of the relative they are naming after. Some people try to find a name with a whole consonant cluster that is phonically similar (like Amalia for Emily), and some just choose a name that starts with the same letter (which is what my husband and I did for our son). Ini fact, because we wanted to honor all our grandparents, we also chose middle names for our kids that started with the same letters as our grandparents' first names. 

Some parents choose a name that in some way relates to the memory of the person who is being named after. Names like Yaffa, Yifat, Shayna, and Nava all evoke beauty; if Grandma Bessie was particularly beautiful, these might be good names to use in naming after her. Names like Shalom, Shlomit, or Noam are all appropriate for naming after a person who was known for being tranquil, or peace-loving.

As for our choice of the name Isaac for our son, I recently realized something very interesting, which I am treating, to an extent, as a self-fulfilling prophecy. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and there is meaning and symbolism in everything. When I started learning the Torah last year, I couldn’t help but make the connection between Isaac being the first Jewish baby - the first one to be born to Jewish parents and to be circumcised - and my son, because although everyone in my family is Jewish, no one has truly practiced Judaism in generations, and some men in my family were never circumcised back in the Soviet Union. So to me, our Isaac is our first true Jew. He is the first one in both my and my husband’s family to grow up in religion, to be circumcised, to believe in G-d, to go to schul and Sunday school. He will probably, G-d willing, be the first boy to have a real bar mitzvah. When we were choosing my son’s name, I had no idea we would become religious, but G-d works in mysterious ways and I am ecstatic to see how far we’ve come and can’t wait to see what lies ahead. All I know for now is that we are on the right path and finding parallels and answers in the Torah is very reassuring.

One more thing I’d like to point out about the power of names is the actual meaning or translation of the name. For example, The name Isaac is derived from the Hebrew verbs sahaq and shahaq, which mean "to laugh" or "to make fun". The name is said to reflect the joy and surprise of Abraham and Sarah at Isaac's birth when they were already old. Well, let me tell you, my son is a laughter machine. He laughs so much, he makes jokes, he is funny and his laughter is contagious. My daughter, Rosalie, whose name of course means literally a rose, is growing up to be just like a flower - beautiful and dainty. I also hope that by having named her after my grandmother, she will acquire some of her character traits - like being a very loving wife and mother. What I remember most about my grandma is precisely her love for my grandpa. They were two that became one and they had a long marriage of over 50 years. Besides that, my grandma was an avid piano player and a biologist, so I also hope my daughter finds music and science exciting.

So there you go, the power of a name! Choose it wisely! Do you have an interesting story about your name or someone else’s? Message me and I will include your story in the following episode. 

Thanks for tuning in! I will leave you today with two sayings from Proverbs and Pirkei Avot, a compilation of the ethical teachings and maxims from Rabbinic Jewish tradition, respectively. Enjoy and until next time!

 “a good name is preferable to great riches.”  “there are three crowns – the crown of Torah, the crown of priesthood, and the crown of royalty, but the crown of a good name surpasses them all.”