S.6 #8 | Emotional Wellbeing

I attended a very interesting book signing of Rabbi Levi Y. Shmotkin, who recently edited and published "Letters for Life: Guidance for Emotional Wellness from the Lubavitcher Rebbe".  

Shmotkin spoke on various topics, presenting examples from individuals he himself interviewed that had received letters from the Rebbe. Shmotkin spent years reading and researching the Rebbe’s correspondence and archives. The common denominator he identified was the Rebbe’s advice and teachings on coping with the inevitable challenges that threaten our peace of mind.

The Rebbe was the one that brought Torah wisdom down to earth and made it accessible for all. His teachings and guidance evident in the many thousands of letters he personally answered are inspiring and life-changing. 

In this episode, I share what touched me the most and what all people can apply to everyday life to achieve emotional wellbeing.

Mentions:

Book - "Letters for Life: Guidance for Emotional Wellness from the Lubavitcher Rebbe"

The Rebbe - Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson

Levi Y. Shmotkin - author and editor 

Psalm 23

Transcript

Over the summer I had the opportunity to attend a book signing at one of the local Chabad centers in Cleveland. Rabbi Levi Shmotkin from Brooklyn, NY presented his book titled “Letters for Life: Guidance for Emotional Wellness from the Lubavitcher Rebbe”. 

I was very interested in the book and presentation because I had recently visited the Ohel - the resting place of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, and I had learned so much about him that I was ecstatic to learn more about his life’s work and how it continues to influence people’s lives today.

Rabbi Shmotkin opened his presentation with a personal account of why he began to research the Rebbe’s letters. He had reached a point in life when he felt down and heavy and couldn’t explain why he was feeling that way or what was missing from his spiritual growth. He then began to read the Rebbe’s correspondence and felt very inspired. He felt an energy that was uplifting him and changing his viewpoint. He realized that it was precisely the Rebbe that had brought Torah ideas down to earth and presented them in an applicable way to any person’s life.

Shmotkin spoke on various topics, presenting examples from individuals he himself interviewed that had received letters from the Rebbe. Shmotkin spent years reading and researching the Rebbe’s correspondence and archives. The common denominator he identified was the Rebbe’s advice and teachings on coping with the inevitable challenges that threaten our peace of mind. He especially told us stories of lonely teenagers, elderly seniors and Holocaust survivors that wrote letters to the Rebbe, seeking direction in life. Responding personally to each letter, and there were thousands of them, he would lovingly advise each individual how to attain inner health, harmony and wholeness. The Rebbe drew from 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom - wisdom that has never been more relevant to today’s world.  

It seems that nowadays everyone around is suffering from anxiety, stress, mental issues, you name it. My 17-year-old daughter tells me of dozens of friends and classmates that are on medication for all sorts of disorders like depression and anorexia, while others are regularly seeing therapists. I myself teach at a University and every semester I have more and more students with accommodations, many of which are tied to mental and emotional issues. With so many technological advances that are supposed to make life easier, shouldn’t people feel better? Well, it turns out that the further away we get from nature and God, the worse we suffer. In addition, the more freedom we have, the more difficulties we are presented with, and the more spiritual searching we must do.

Rabbi Shmotkin spoke profusely about spiritual rootedness, which is imperative for emotional stability. This resonated greatly with me because until I became spiritually rooted, I suffered immensely from anxiety, and I spent years searching for truth, for belonging, for my identity, for anything that would provide me stability and a sense of hope. This is why I absolutely loved the Rebbe’s overarching message: that we can travel far when we have a home to come back to. Our metaphorical branches can grow long and reach far if our roots are strong. Our soul needs a home - an anchor that will hold and keep us from falling entirely. Yes, difficulties happen but these winds of life will never overthrow us completely if we are well rooted. This is especially true for Jews - we are the most resilient nation in history and it is exactly due to our roots, our heritage, our connection to God. 

The best gift we can give a child is rootedness - an identity. A condition of rootedness is a piece of mind, inner security. This is something I was never given as a child, and it is now my responsibility as a parent to give it to my children because I don’t want them to experience what it’s like to be a lost soul. I want my kids to know that their soul has a home, a very well-built, beautiful 3,000-year old home that they can come back to any time. I want them to know that God loves them. That God is there for them, always. That the Torah will provide all necessary answers and guidance throughout their whole life. There is no need to search. 

Prior to giving my soul a home, prior to finding Judaism, I was one of those lost souls. I wandered through life looking for an identity for myself, trying out different faiths and beliefs only to realize that they did not answer all of my questions nor did they make me feel at home. I bounced from relationship to relationship, not being able to find a partner for life because I was unsure of my own values. I had so much freedom that I didn’t know what to do with it. I traveled the world over in search of meaning, but always came back empty-handed. Because I didn’t have rootedness, I was anxious. I couldn't find peace within myself. I constantly felt the need to do something, to see someone, to get away. In simple terms, I wandered through life with no map, no GPS, and therefore kept getting lost. Now that I have the most amazing GPS ever, AKA the Torah, that provides very precise directions and instructions for life, I am no longer lost. And here is the kicker: now that I have directions, I don’t have the need to constantly leave, to be on the road, to be escaping the everyday reality. On the contrary, I feel so safe, so happy and peaceful in my home and in myself that there is nothing to escape from. I love my home now that I’ve invited G-d to live me, I love my marriage now that G-d is part of it, and I love watching my children grow into Godly beings - into individuals that are learning to see God in everything, that are learning to live with their souls first, bodies second. 

The Torah provides instruction for living healthy lives, for staying emotionally and mentally strong. Rabbi Shmotkin gave us some suggestions based on timeless wisdom. For example, he suggested we take at least half an hour each week to create rootedness by studying Torah, by doing a mitzvah, by praying. He suggested we light shabbat candles without stress. After all, Shabbat is a gift from G-d, a day of rest, a day of peace and quietude. I must admit, it’s not easy for me to disconnect, to set the Shabbat table worry-free, especially if we’re having guests over. This is where I owe it to my husband who helps me calm down, helps me cook and reassures me that we’re doing our best and there is no need to stress. 

Then, I heard a metaphor that Rabbi Shmotkin used that I really enjoyed and that made a lot of sense to me: think of flies on a cow. The flies are not part of the cow, they land on her but all she has to do is shake them off. Similarly with people, the setbacks, the unexpected downfalls, things that don’t go as planned, they are not part of us, they don’t define us, we just need to learn to shake them off. And guess what, with G-d, it’s much easier to achieve that. 

When we’re feeling anxious or sad, Shmotkin recommended we read Psalm 23, or better yet, learn it by heart. Interestingly enough, I had recently bookmarked that psalm for myself and I read it every time I felt stressed out or worried. I haven’t recited it in a couple months and I think it’s time I go back to reading it, perhaps I can memorize it. 

I plan to read Shmotkin’s book, it’s definitely on my list! I think I will learn a lot and be very inspired by the Rebbe’s correspondence and Shmotkin’s interviews. You will find the title of the book and the author’s name in the show notes. I hope you will consider reading this book as well and share this episode to inspire others to find emotional wellness.

I will leave you today with the aforementioned Psalm 23.

It begins with the words “Mizmor leDavid” (“A song of David”) and is arguably the most famous of all the Psalms. In it, King David sings of G‑d’s protection, referring to Him as a shepherd. David describes how his trust in G‑d never falters, and how, even as he walks through the valley of the shadow of death, G‑d shields him from harm, vanquishes his enemies and enthrones him in the house of G‑d.

All of six verses, the psalm is a timeless testament to the rock-solid faith of the Jewish people in knowing that G‑d is always with us, protecting and guiding our path.

1. A song of David. The L‑rd is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2. He causes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters.
3. He restores my soul; He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
4. Even as I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5. You set a table before me in the presence of my adversaries; You anointed my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6. May only goodness and kindness pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the L‑rd for length of days.

Mentions:

The Rebbe - Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson

Levi Y. Shmotkin - author and editor 

Psalm 23